While an uncontested divorce typically means fewer complications, you and your spouse must agree to all of the terms of the divorce if you want to be successful. That means finding ways to maintain civility and have productive conversations as you navigate the process isn’t just a good idea—it’s essential to the success of your petition. Here are a few simple tips to help you communicate and negotiate more effectively so you can pursue an uncontested divorce in Virginia.
Give Your Spouse Time to Speak
To have a successful uncontested divorce, you and your spouse must be in full agreement over the terms. The only way to reach that agreement is to listen to each other. Though emotions might be running high, give your spouse time to speak and discuss the terms or considerations they’re most worried about. This can help them feel heard and may make the conversation feel less emotional and more productive.
Keep an Open Mind
It’s normal to only see things from your perspective when negotiating terms. However, doing so can increase the likelihood that you and your spouse will need to file a contested divorce and go through a more complicated process. When you’re negotiating terms, keep an open mind about the things your spouse is saying. Their perspective may help you view distributions of assets in a more favorable way and can help you identify solutions to points of contention that you otherwise may not find.
Be as Kind as Possible
Divorcing your spouse can be fraught with conflict, and it’s easy to feel anger toward them, even if the divorce is a mutual decision. When possible, try to be kind in your negotiations prior to filing for an uncontested divorce. If you find it difficult to talk to them alone, consider having a trusted friend or your divorce attorney there to help you navigate those difficult conversations. By approaching the conversation with kindness and working with a mediator as necessary, you’ll avoid further disagreements that can derail your ability to pursue an uncontested divorce.
Be Clear About Your Needs and Wants
Ultimately, you are your own best advocate. Be clear about the things you need and want when discussing the terms of your divorce. Your spouse may not agree with them immediately, but you’ll help speed up the negotiation process when you’re forthcoming about your personal needs. You may also reduce any feelings of bitterness that come up after the divorce is complete, as you’ll be advocating for yourself from the beginning and will be more likely to reach a fair and equitable solution.
Always Remember They’re Human, Too
Vilifying your spouse can make your divorce more stressful, even when they’re in the wrong. Instead of focusing on them as the “bad guy,” remember that they’re impacted by the divorce, too. When you can see them as a human, however flawed they may be, it can be easier to discuss the terms and reach agreements that will make an uncontested divorce possible.
Are You Ready to File for an Uncontested Divorce?
If you and your spouse agree on the terms of your separation and divorce, an uncontested divorce may be the best option. If you’re ready to start the filing process, make sure you work with an attorney that understands how to help divorcing couples reach an amicable and mutually beneficial agreement. Contact AC Reiman Law and schedule a consultation or call 540-764-4762 to speak with a member of our team.